Cashier Chronicles

Today was my first day back after my forced hiatus. I was honestly not looking forward to going. As much as I would like to say today was a horrible catastrophe, it just kind of wasn't pleasant.

The top 3 happenings of my shift:
1. I hate asking people if they want their milk in a bag. I say it approximately 200 times a day. The only thing I hate more than asking, is bagging. Anything. I can't stand it. So if I can get out of one gallon item, I'm surely going to. I asked the customer, and her husband asked why people ask that. According to him, the milk is sweaty and will just collect lint in his truck. "If I didn't want a bag I would just take it out." I was very fortunate to know I'd never see him again. Let's not have grocery arguments, okay?

2. One of the "perks" of cashiering is the gun thing that scans items from a distance. Not a lot of distance, but just enough for people to excitedly say "ZAP IT!" while straining to hold their 20 pack of water. I was given the most unfriendly gun thing tonight. It did not want to zap anything. This guy comes through my line with a bag of manure larger than my body. He asks if I could just use my trusty traveling scanner instead of having to lift it. I sure wished, sir. So after several failed attempts, I decided I would just lift it myself since he did not want to. I thought I was doing great, as I walked back around to the register carrying my weight in fertilizer. Then I realized, he was holding the top of it. I was basically gliding the bag and nothing more. Fine. We got it scanned and back in his cart, and he began to wipe off his shirt. In all honesty, I watched this in complete terror. I did not want to think there could be any remnants of his plant-love on me. Thankfully there wasn't, I don't know what I would have done.
Also, a few hours later I was informed how to make the travel scanner work. I didn't have to fake lift anything.

3. Number three was the worst, and possibly the best. This woman and two of her friends were in line, each with multiple separate totals. The first girl had a son, who was really, really unhappy. He was crying and wailing the entire time, I felt bad. It didn't seem like anyone was doing anything to comfort him. Finally, after his mother informed me I still had to give her back her dollar (maybe that is why my drawer was open?), she picked him up. He stopped crying basically instantly. This didn't last very long, because she had to get her wallet. She put him down, along with her wallet for whatever reason, and then it happened. He grabbed her wallet and threw it. It hit me right between my eyes, with all of her credit/library/bus/membership cards. It was like a movie. I saw a blur of pink and blue swirling at my face, and did absolutely nothing about it. Then, his mother asked me to pick the cards up.
No.

That was basically it for my night. Though, the man with a hardcore Boston accent and the people buying a lobster should receive honorable mentions. It took me several minutes to figure out his saying of "carton," and I won't say what I thought he was saying. They would never sell those. As for the lobster, I didn't really realize what it was until I picked it up. Then it basically passed through my hands in 0.2 seconds. I felt disgusting.

Thank you, have a good night!